Recently, Stanford’s own swimming home boy and notorious “20 minute of action” Rapist Brock Turner was released from prison on a shortened sentence for Good Behavior.
In other news High School Athlete and Rapist, David Becker was let off with only 2 years of probation with an added bonus of not having to register as a sex offender because as his attorney put it:
“We all made mistakes when we were 17, 18, 19 years old, and we shouldn’t be branded for life with a felony offense and branded a sex offender.” – Thomas Rooke
So here’s a list that may come in handy for all my readers if they are already US citizens or find themselves in the US some day. We can cross rape off the line because as long as it was just a mistake you don’t have to worry at all. These few things however will definitely get you some prison time and maybe more.
1. Public Urination
You gotta go because you really had to go. Public urination is another form of 20 seconds of action that could get you up to 2 years in prison in some states for misdemeanor charges.
Charges: Up to 2 years in county jail on Incarceration.
Added Bonus: You may have to register as a sex offender.
Bet David Becker is really happy he wasn’t caught peeing in public instead.
2. Public Lewdness
Public lewdness is intentional public exposure of one’s private parts. Sure, we get it, no one wants to see other’s junks and granted some states do have some public nudity laws. Here’s where it gets a bit ironic, the state defines consensual public sex as a form of public lewdness too which can get you the same or even greater offenses, which is a real relief for Brock Turner since he didn’t really care to seek any consent.
Charges: 1+ Year(s) in county jail on incarceration
Additional Bonus: Up to 1000$ in fine plus bail if assigned.
3.Selling Scrap Metal
So here’s a weird one, everybody likes to sell off scraps they have or might have found for a couple extra cash, however according to state laws anyone could report your scrap as stolen and land you theft charges.
Charges: Up to a Lifetime Prison Sentence
4. Skipping School
So we all like to for go a day or two of school sometimes but according to Texas state law: missing 10 or more days of classes over a six-month period, or three days in four weeks, can result in adult criminal proceedings.
Brock or David won’t have to be worried about this since their celebrated sports records require them to be in school anyway.
Charges: $500+ fine plus Jail time if unable to pay.
5.Letting The Dogs Out
So here’s another special case that may make you want to keep an eye out when you let your pets into the yard. In 2013 a woman was fined over $500 dollars because her dogs kept finding their way out of here yard. Being unable to pay landed her some jail time along with a $7000 additional fine and court fees, all of this being topped with denied custody of her dogs.
Charges: $500+ fine plus $7000 and Jail time if unable to pay.
Additional Bonus: Lose Your Pets.
Honorable Mention: Banging On Moon Rocks
In 2002 a NASA intern stole some moon rocks to take to a hotel and have sex on with his girlfriend. We repeat, completely consensual sex. This landed the guy around 8 years in prison and a federal offense that basically wont let him get hired anywhere ever again all because of “20 minutes of action”.
DEAR AMERICA, fix your shit mate, its suddenly become the land of the Raping free.